Goings on...

These are some recent conversations that took place in the classroom:

1. The other day, in the study skills class that I teach, everyone was working on an assignment. A kid near the front of the room always asks the most random things. He is frequently getting on people's nerves and usually does it just to get a rise out of someone. His remarks are usually directed at me (ie. "Miss L., do you worry that you'll be too old to have kids?" or "Miss L., how old are you?" and when I respond with 29, he usually says something like "Oh man! That's so old! And you aren't married yet!? Whoa! You probably won't get married!" Thanks kid.) So during the assignment, he looks up and says "Miss L?" and is immediately met with a chorus of groans. But instead of his usual pseudo-aloofness, his asks this:

"What does heaven taste like?"

So I told him that I assumed it must taste like the most delicious thing you've ever put in your mouth, which is actually quite a nice thought. So while he contemplated that, a kid in the back jumped up and said

"Oh man, oh man! I know what my heaven tastes like! Those nachos from California Dreamin'! Them junks be hittin!"

Once again, for those of you not privy to the slang spoken amongst adolescents these days, hittin', in the words of that very student, means "They real good Miss L."

So this prompted quite a conversation. Other heavens taste like:

"A shrimp po' boy that some Chinese dude in New Orleans makes"
"A filet mignon. Man, when my grandma cook that junk...ooooooo boy!"
"Hot wings and a salad from my momma"

And, yes, this did lead into the fact that Hell, no doubt, tastes like the worst thing you can imagine. Therefore, Hell tastes like broccoli, onions, black olives, cabbage, squash and okra.

As for my heaven, it tastes like Hershey's milk chocolate. Or probably this steak dinner my sister made for us one time. Man, that junk be off the chain!

By the way, the above, strangely enough, included no freshmen.
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We've been reading Romeo and Juliet in class. In conjunction with this, we watched West Side Story. Our school drama program was also putting on their production of WSS. So, for extra credit I said that if they went to the play, they could write a response to it over the weekend. The play cost $1. This is the response I got:

Aww, shucks, Miss L. I cain't be given you no dolla. I'se gots a wife and kids at home. I'se gots caa payments and mawtgages and bills to pay. I cain't be given you no dolla. Lawdy.

Just like that. This kid is 14. And he was hamming it up big time. Talking in a thick Southern accent. It was hilarious. Needless to say, he got quite a reaction. And yes, this was in fact a freshman. And no, he did not part with that dollar. And no, he didn't go to the play, and he didn't receive any extra credit. But he did get a good laugh.

This, by the way, isn't just any freshman. It's the same freshman that took his shirt off in class and then sat there afraid that moving to put it would draw attention to himself and then I'd see he wasn't wearing one. As if sitting there topless isn't attention-grabbing enough....

I really do love my job.