Why, oh why me?

Or
I swear the strangest things always happen to me.

Or
Please, parents, pay more attention to your kids in the back seat.

Reader discretion is advised.

Yesterday started off great. But my afternoon was totally crazy. I started off logging some great hours at the BCC (Boozer Country Club, and yes, that really is their last name! We hang out at the pool in their backyard). That was wonderful. But, I had to leave and get dressed to head to a wedding shower for two good friends of mine. In Lake City. Which is an hour away.

Fact #1: There is nothing about Lake City that is an hour away.

So, I plan to leave at around 5:30 to head to the party. I knew I couldn't stay long because the rest of my friends were getting together for dinner and drinks before two of them leave on a big Australian vacation (please bring me back something nice!). So my plan was to get to the party right at 7 so that I could visit, eat dinner, hang out and then leave by around 8 to get back to the other dinner party by 9 and spend some time with those friends.

Fact #2: Things do not ever go according to my plan. Ever.

I do an amazing job of pulling out of my driveway at 5:26. Admittedly, I did have to stop at Target to buy the gift, but I knew exactly what I was getting and that only took me about 10 minutes. But, on my way to Target, it began to rain. And it was unfortunately not water.

I was driving behind an SUV when all of the sudden all of this stuff starts flying back on my windshield. I couldn't figure out what it was, but it was spraying onto my car. So, thinking that I would just go around it, I pulled into the right hand lane to pass the SUV on it's passenger side. And to my horror, I discovered the source of the spray. A little girl, probably 8 or 10 years old, has her face barely sticking out of the window and is vomitting out of the window and it is spraying all over my car. Seriously. And the driver of the car did not stop. Who doesn't stop for a little girl throwing up out of the window!? I couldn't believe it. I was almost in tears. Afraid to get out of the car for fear of having to touch the car to get back in! So, I called my mom. As I am talking to my mom, the SUV pulls right up beside me at a stop light, they still have not stopped the car, and the side of the car is covered in pink vomit.

The first thing my mother asked me:

Was your window down?

I have never in my life been more thankful to have a window rolled up. Ever. I don't know what I would have done if it had been rolled down. It is making me gag to think about it.

Fact #3: There is no way that the driver of that car was unaware of the child throwing up out of the back window.

I somehow make it to Target, ever thankful of the hand sanitizer in my purse, which I thought about dumping all over my car.

(But my car really was pretty clean. I had used my windshield washer fluid to clean off the windshield.)

I get the gift and head out. According to my Mapquest directions, the party is a straight shot down a highway heading right out of town. It shouldn't be hard at all. Just two turns.

Fact #4: It is extremely easy to wind up almost to Conway, 20 minutes past the party, when the road that you need to turn on is unmarked.

Needless to say, I didn't get to the party until 7:45. 45 minutes late. After a car ride of more than two hours which, granted, did include one quick trip to Target, a 40 minute detour, and should have included a car wash, I finally made it to the party, hung around for about 45 minutes, and got in the car and flew back home.

Fact #5: Lake City can be a little over an hour away if you exceed the speed limit on the way home.

In the cards for today, a car wash. Gross.