Monday, September 22, 2008

Top 10

This is from Fox Sports and is hilarious! Well, not number 6!

Top 10 Most Obnoxious Fan Bases

#10 Florida
They live in the past and never shut up. They're sore losers and worse winners. Blackboard, meet fingernails. Presenting the 10 most obnoxious college football fan bases. At No. 10 is Florida, formerly coached by Steve "The Evil Genius" Spurrier. There used to be a popular joke that asked what the difference was between God and Steve Spurrier. The answer: "God doesn't think he's Steve Spurrier." Spurrier's gone to South Carolina now (how appropriate that he coaches a team whose mascot is named "Cocky"), and Florida is led by Urban Meyer. Florida fans got all superior-like when Meyer turned down Notre Dame in favor of coming to Gainesville. Well, duh! Ever try to work on your tan in South Bend? But Florida classlessness dates back at least to 1971, when the infamous "Gator Flop" against Miami got the ball back so John Reaves could break the NCAA passing record.

#9 Florida State
What makes FSU fans so obnoxious? How about bragging about themselves and their rituals instead of their football team? Since the Seminole players can't seem to entertain, the FSU faithful have to rely on cheesy Native American war chants, the Tomahawk Chop gimmick (how '90s) and hot chicks in Daisy Dukes and cowboy hats to amuse themselves.

#8 Alabama
Crimson Tide fans take living in the past to a whole new level. How long has Bear Bryant been gone? They brag about how many titles they've won and proclaim their rivalry with Auburn the greatest ever, but they're on an 0-6 streak in the Iron Bowl. Maybe they're the ones who started this whole "SEC" chant thing; if your team can't win, hide behind your conference's success.

#7 Ohio State
Just how many times are Buckeyes fans going to make a big deal out of dotting that "i"? Attention to detail is all well and good, but come on. They use regular-season success to pronounce their team the greatest ever, then scatter like rats when their heroes get spanked in a title game. After they almost lost to Ohio, you have to wonder whether the wrong school has the pretentious "The" in front of its name.

#6 Clemson
Do you get the feeling that Clemson fans feel they belong in the SEC and tend to over-compensate for it? They call their stadium Death Valley and chant "Tiger bait" at visiting teams, but honestly, what have they done in the last 10 years? A golf championship in 2003? ("Spin that wedge! Sink that putt!") These SEC-wannabe fans are downright delusional.

#5 Southern Cal
Raise your hand if you're counting the days 'til the NCAA hammers the Trojans with sanctions so bad that Tommy Trojan falls on his sword and takes that mind-numbing band and those spoiled "V"-fingered fans with him. Forcing Traveler to listen to "Conquest" 50 times a Saturday should qualify as animal cruelty. Someone call PETA.

#4 Oklahoma
Stoops is the greatest, and this is the year. Right, every dang year. Give it up already. Their fans demand the Sooners be ranked in the top 10 on reputation alone, and think beating North Texas 79-10 is impressive but losing to Colorado is a fluke. Get back to us when you can beat a WAC team in a BCS bowl.

#3 LSU
Do their fans really think that changing the English language will make them better than everyone else? Geaux figure. Their so-called rivalry game is with Tulane (yawn), and they never run out of excuses for their cupcake non-conference schedule. Dare to play them in their own stadium and you'll be doused with beer and "Tiger Bait" chants.

#2 Michigan
What can you say about a fan base that thinks a loss should be rewarded? Never mind their incessant complaining after dropping (gasp!) in the rankings after losing to No. 1 Ohio State in 2006, they actually think the rest of the country cares about their rivalry with the Buckeyes. Maybe if the game actually determined a legit BCS title contender, we would. But without a doubt, Michigan fans are the whiniest fans in college football.

#1 Notre Dame
The Irish rest on their laurels and think they deserve to bless us every Saturday on NBC. The 1940s have been over for a long time, folks. Notre Dame has been irrelevant for more than a decade, yet their myopic fans see light behind a 3-9 year. Call them out as a bad team and their fans bleat, "But you're still talking about us," in Stepford synchronicity. Obnoxiousness, thy home is South Bend.

1 comments:

Micah said...

In #10, I am pretty sure they are talking about D. Reeves Dad.