Gross Negligence

If that is the charge, I plead guilty. I am guilty of blogger gross negligence. And for that, I am truly sorry. And I have so much to write about! So much has happened in the past week.

1. We threw a great baby shower for my BFF who is due in April. 5 short weeks away! I am very excited for them. That will be another post when I can put up some pictures.

2. Romeo and Juliet has shed some light on the inner thoughts of freshmen girls.

3. Freshmen boys have not been slow to impress either! Though not quite in the same clouds part, bright light shines down, and the angels sing kind of intelligent responses as my freshmen girls.

4. Teachers are just as quick to say or do things that are eerily similar in IQ (and unfortunately mind-in-the-gutter) level as freshmen.

5. And certain members of the general public were absent on the day the teacher discussed homophones in 2nd grade. But, at least their mothers were star Hooked On Phonics students. Just ask Mykul. Seriously.

So, here goes....

2. O, Romeo, Romeo. Why do you pose such a challenge to freshmen?
I have delved into the forbidden love of two forlorn 14 year olds. Well, if that isn't exactly what goes on regularly in room A 218, I don't know what does. Because if it isn't forbidden love, its unrequited love, but certainly never, EVER, is it drama-free love. Hmm. Why is it that issues affecting kids are the same ones to affect adults? Another time...
So why, then, is Romeo and Juliet such a hard thing to get my kids to relate to?
I started my unit off with an Anticipation Guide (an educational buzz word for those of you not lucky enough to have chosen a path that leads to early gray hair and very little monetary compensation). The ensuing conversation was much, much more than I anticipated.
Essentially, an Anticipation Guide gives a statement that the students either agree or disagree with and will hopefully spark meaningful conversation. The statements are all things that deal directly with the issues that will be raised in the text. For example: "14 year olds are too young to get married."
Well, that really got them going. That and "Love at first site really exists."
Somehow it went from discussing this to discussing deceit and lying. I can't remember how. It was going too fast for me to take notes (and yes, I take notes. Frequently I think Man, this is good blogging material!). But the epiphany came when one of my girls said

"Stuff that is done in the dark will come into the light."

And I was so impressed. That, to me, is a statement that shows maturity beyond her 14 short years. Plus, what a powerful statement. What a thing to think about....

We were also able to come to the conclusion that shows like The Bachelor and the Bachelorette can not, in fact, produce a union between two people adhered by true love. They wanted to know how you can possibly experience true love for one person when you are also falling in love with other people. Interesting thought....plus, according to my freshmen, it takes one year for true love to grow. Hmm.

3. Then the boys.....

If this was a competition, for every rung on the ladder of life that my freshmen girls climb, my boys yank them down three or four.
For example, Cannibal Boy asked me yesterday
"Miss L, if I am having growing pains in only one leg, does that mean only one leg is growing? My left leg has been hurting all day."
He was visibly shaken, presumably at the idea of having his left leg noticeably longer than his right leg. Somehow I didn't laugh out loud; no small feat if you know me.
"No, honey. It doesn't. Maybe you pulled a muscle in PE."
"Whew. That's good news. And no, I didn't pull a muscle. It's my thigh, and that's just fat. No muscle."
Well, maybe if it's my thigh. But I didn't bother to launch into an anatomy lesson. And in true Cannibal Kid form, my response was enough to alleviate any anxiety he had envisioning his future limp. No need to elaborate!

Shortly thereafter, another student took off his shirt. Just took it off. And then proceeded to sit there are work like this was not unusual. He's a skinny, tiny little thing. It was hilarious. Once again, I held it together until I had him in the custody of my administrator friend. Then I laughed so hard I cried. He kept insisting that he was just changing shirts. When I tried to explain to him that he was SITTING THERE with NO SHIRT ON for a solid 30 seconds, his explanation....

"I didn't want to draw attention to myself!"

4. Sometimes teachers say the most embarrassing things

And they are always sexual in nature! One teacher walked into our lounge yesterday during lunch. She had just finished up reading The Crucible with her juniors and had one particularly dramatic boy reading the part of John Proctor. Apparently he was great, because she told him "I've never had a better John." And the kids died. She was mortified. I probably would have been too, had I gotten the joke. (For those of you who are with me, a John is another word for a trick a prostitute turns...the guy who pays her for her services. I didn't get it. And some of you don't believe I am a prude.....)
So, I had to tell my embarrassing story. A story so embarrassing it turned my face red to talk about it, and it happened three years ago.

I was teaching a class of sophomores several years ago. I was kneeling on the floor talking to a student in the front row. For some reason, that class in particular was convinced that I was old. They were always trying to get me a chair or pick things up for me. As if I couldn't reach the floor at the ripe old age of 26! Well, there I am kneeling on the floor and a student says "Miss L. Let me get you a chair so you don't have to sit like that."
To which I replied

"No really, I'm fine. I like being on my knees."

Needless to say, whatever control I'd had over the class was gone at that time. Mortifying.

5. Ah, Poorly Written Sign Hanging in a Public Place. We meet again.

This time the sign said

CAN NOT SALE BEER UNTIL MARCH 9.

For some reason, I found myself wondering why March 9 is the magic date that requires the re-institution of beer sales?
Seriously, if I didn't think it would be blatantly obvious and rude to take a picture of that sign, I would have whipped my trusty and beloved iPhone right out and snapped a shot. Of that sign and of the guy's name tag. Something told me Mykul wrote that sign. Just a hunch. And yes, he really spelled his name that way. Rather, his mother spelled his name that way.

The reason why I said Mykul must have been absent on homophone day is because I am pretty sure he says the word "sell" as "sale." We are, after all, in the south.

I was once giving an oral writing test to some elementary students. I read a sentence and they wrote down what I said. I said "corridor" and she wrote "car door." The southern dialect....confusing even us southern speakers!

I might just go back up there and snap a shot of that sign. Guess I better get up there before March 9...

Happy Mardi Gras! Now that's something I'm not sure I could survive again.